Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Writing with Rox WEEKLY—Is anyone NOT lonely?

Last 
week Dada 
sent me a story 
about a buddy bench  
which was created by a 
second grader in Pennsylvania 
who was concerned that some of 
his buddies might feel lonely during 
recess. The buddy bench invites anyone who 
is feeling lonely or left out or needing someone to 
talk to have a seat, either joining like-lonelied peers or 
announce that he'd like some company asap. I love this.
 I think it's one of the most brilliant things I've ever heard of. 

Why? A physical space that offers a place of safety and vulnerability, where vulnerability is okay because, heck, aren't we all vulnerable? A place that admits we all need a little help from our friends and not-yet-friends? A place where when words or actions fail, you can announce your way in the world by sitting in the peace zone? You can just sit there and be seen for who you are without having to go about it totally internally alone if you don't want to and if you have no idea how to deal with it. Wow, wow, wow. How revolutionary!

Of course as ideas go, this one got me to thinking and dreaming way too much. Well, why stop with a buddy bench? And why stop at elementary school? What if there were public spaces—call them public works of art if you must—that invited folks to sit here if they felt happy and wanted to talk about why. Or sit there if they wanted to have a hug. Or over there if they felt like making a new friend. How about over there if you want to play tag. Or how about one in the mall that says "sit here if you don't want to be here?" Or another one if you are "lost" or "found" or both, but either way you need to be seen.

Or how about one in your very own home... one that invited a place for "I'm mad, but don't want to be mad anymore, but I don't want to give in first... so let's kiss and make up." Or a corner that said simply, "I'm sorry," or "I'm afraid to tell you something..."

Or a laughing bench. Or a crying bench. Or a grieving bench. Or a circle of benches for back rubs? A drumming bench? An "I miss my mommy" bench?  Or one that says "I wish the holidays were over and I don't have a new year's resolution." Or one to give away free stuff? Or, of course, a writing bench... a place to write and share with others. Of course, a quiet bench is always nice, but most of them are quiet already, so how about a loud one? A cheering section where you cheer for each other and go if you need a cheer?

What sort of bench would you put out there? In your home? In the future? What would it look like? What would happen there? Or not happen there?

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Writing with Rox WEEKLY—Living Your Happily Ever After

Lately Jude has been watching Willy Wonka and I can't help but watch it with him. I'm not sure why, but the ending makes me cry every time. (Does it make you cry every time? If not, what does? Not just movies, but what in life makes you cry every time?)

Maybe because Charlie is only a wee bit older than Jude and I wish for Jude someday to be able to fly high over the sky in a real glass elevator. I wish for a world where children are revered for their purity, their love, their honesty, because, as Willy knows, only wide-eyed magical, dreamy children "can be trusted to run the chocolate factory and take care of the Oompa Loompas."

Maybe it's because the movie is ending and I hate to see it end because it is so wonderful. Or maybe it's because it's only beginning... Or maybe it has something to do with how much I love Gene Wilder, or how it takes me right back to childhood afternoons in the Valley with my best friend Laura whose parents were "in the business," so we could dream and dream big and believe in our dreams, our own big Hollywood dreams in the making...

But likely because, as Wonka says to Charlie, "Don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted...... He lived happily ever after."

So... here's what let's do: Since there's no need to be dreamin' of a White Christmas, tell me what else you're dreaming for... In fact, let's go all out: What's on your dream list? Your "everything I always wanted" list?
If you got everything you ever wanted and were living your happily ever after, what would that look like?


Of course if youd' rather just write your Christmas list, that'd be great too. I'll see what I can do. :)


Remember that you are TOTALLY ANONYMOUS if you so choose.
Remember: it's only writing. If you can't dream and wish and happily-ever-after on the page, where can you?