Last
week Dada
sent me a story
about a buddy bench
which was created by a
second grader in Pennsylvania
who was concerned that some of
his buddies might feel lonely during
recess. The buddy bench invites anyone who
is feeling lonely or left out or needing someone to
talk to have a seat, either joining like-lonelied peers or
announce that he'd like some company asap. I love this.
I think it's one of the most brilliant things I've ever heard of.
Why? A physical space that offers a place of safety and vulnerability, where vulnerability is okay because, heck, aren't we all vulnerable? A place that admits we all need a little help from our friends and not-yet-friends? A place where when words or actions fail, you can announce your way in the world by sitting in the peace zone? You can just sit there and be seen for who you are without having to go about it totally internally alone if you don't want to and if you have no idea how to deal with it. Wow, wow, wow. How revolutionary!
Of course as ideas go, this one got me to thinking and dreaming way too much. Well, why stop with a buddy bench? And why stop at elementary school? What if there were public spaces—call them public works of art if you must—that invited folks to sit here if they felt happy and wanted to talk about why. Or sit there if they wanted to have a hug. Or over there if they felt like making a new friend. How about over there if you want to play tag. Or how about one in the mall that says "sit here if you don't want to be here?" Or another one if you are "lost" or "found" or both, but either way you need to be seen.
Or how about one in your very own home... one that invited a place for "I'm mad, but don't want to be mad anymore, but I don't want to give in first... so let's kiss and make up." Or a corner that said simply, "I'm sorry," or "I'm afraid to tell you something..."
Or a laughing bench. Or a crying bench. Or a grieving bench. Or a circle of benches for back rubs? A drumming bench? An "I miss my mommy" bench? Or one that says "I wish the holidays were over and I don't have a new year's resolution." Or one to give away free stuff? Or, of course, a writing bench... a place to write and share with others. Of course, a quiet bench is always nice, but most of them are quiet already, so how about a loud one? A cheering section where you cheer for each other and go if you need a cheer?
What sort of bench would you put out there? In your home? In the future? What would it look like? What would happen there? Or not happen there?
