Getting our writer butts in the chair

Dear Rox,

Why is it so dang hard for us writers to confront the blank page?  Or even to return to an existing project, particularly if it's not flowing at the moment?  Why is it so hard to get our butts in the chair?  (This brings to mind the acronym in the IT Help Desk arena "PEBKAC" - problem exists between keyboard and chair.) How do we get out of own way? (There's never a better time to scrub the bathroom floor with a toothbrush than when the cursor is blinking on a blank white page.)

Keep up the good work!

Thanks,

Trina

Dearest Trina,

Thanks so much for reiterating one of the most common questions I hear. And the obvious answer, obvious even to you, is the same vague answer they've been giving us for years: fear. Yeah, but what does that mean?

The fact that so many people ask this question makes me sad. Why? Because if you are resisting the chair, you are not excited about your writing (which is also why it is not flowing). Likely, you are not excited about your writing because you are not writing your truth. Why are you not writing your truth? Because you don't know what that is. In fact, that phrase sort of annoys you because you've heard it a hundred times. Why don't you know what it is?  Because the writing police once told you (and keep telling you) that "good writing" has to be like this or that. And that scares you in some subconscious place deep down, that deep down place that fears you'll be exiled if you do not do as the writing police tell you. A place that scares you so much that you are not even aware that you are not writing your truth... it's not even on the radar. You may think you are writing your truth, but you are likely writing some socially agreed upon version of writing your truth that sounds right, but doesn't really feel right... in fact, it's getting sort of boring.  That's the biggest reason. You're not writing your truth. 

Sure there are other obvious reasons and shoulds like no time, cleaning obligations, Facebook demands, self-doubt, self-criticism, self-pity, the gym, meetings, coffee, depression, ADD, kids, the rest of your life, etc, but those things interfere with everything... even each other.

The other big reason you may be avoiding the blank page is that you do not have a writing community. We writers need this. We need to read and be read to. We need to know someone somewhere is listening. We need to be witnessed. Before there were writers, there were storytellers and storytellers were nothing without story-tellees who gathered round the fire or the huts or the drums or whatever and listened to the stories and begged, "oh please, tell us more Storyteller! Tell us how it ends! Tell us of that village you saw with the strange baths and plants!" Why would a storyteller tell a story if no one was around to listen? But the thing is, back then, or back there somewhere at least, everyone was a storyteller. And everyone listened. So maybe you just need to know someone(s) is listening.

All that said, writing, like any other creative endeavor, is a practice that needs discipline; once you've got into the habit and have found your truth, met yourself on the page,  you'll be writing not only in the chair, but standing in line, driving, at work, etc. Your creative channel will be wide open. But it takes time to learn how to write your truth because it takes time to unlearn all the untruths. But it can be done. It's why I make my students write in gibberish or turn their earliest memory into a rap song. It's why I have them write letters to their younger selves and answer back from their younger self who is scared to death about speaking his/her truth. It's why writers like Natalie Goldberg and Brenda Ueland and the other one... oh... not Eat Pray Love... um... Bird by Bird! Annie Lamott! Its' why those gals and countless others insist that you just write. Just sit down and do it. Sure, it's hard at first, but just do it anyway. It's like what my drum teacher Hanakia says about drumming: you just hit the damn thing. You don't think about it, you just do it.

This is all easy for me to say because I rarely get writer's block and if I do, it's because I am not writing my truth. I am too concerned with what "they" will think. This happens when I have to write something on a Hallmark Card.  Filling out forms gives me writer's block because it's hard to write my truth with either check boxes or only two lines, yet even then I can't seem to avoid writing a prose poem in the margins about why this form is reminds me of that time in childhood when....

But let's be clear here: I still find myself scrubbing the floors, partly because they desperately need it, and because I thoroughly enjoy it. But usually when I am down on my knees instead of butted in chair, it's because writing is my reward for getting stuff done. My treat. Could that be the deal for you too?

Hope this helps Trina. I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say about it tomorrow. And if anyone else does, please insert your truth here. Night night!