I like to tell writers around here that "if you write it, it will come," which makes me like the zillionth person to parodize the original from the baseball movie with Kevin Costner.... er.... Field of Dreams? Well... here at the little Beach of Dreams, which, yes, I "built" out of my dreams, I love to see how writers are able to visualize their "ideal"or "dream" life on the page with all the warm fuzzy details. And over time, wouldn't you know it, that life begins to get closer and closer to the here and now until voila, dreams come true.
Not that they aren't actions to take along the way. Hard work to do, etc. In fact, along the way......
Sometimes writers go back in time to revise/revision their lives with a new voice, a now voice, a VOICE OF EXPERIENCE, as memoirist Sue Silverman writes about in her memoir Fearless Confessions. In that all-knowing, all-loving voice, we are able to talk to our younger selves and offer whatever words we needed at the time, but for whatever reasons were unable to give ourselves. By traveling back in time on the page, we can do some wonderful healing work on ourselves and our life "story"/script. Writing is quite amazing for time travel. You can go anywhere and just linger. Talk to anyone.
Lately my dad has been coming to me on the page, a voice of experience of a different kind. He likes to remind me that I am doing a fine job raising my son, and... it's important that I remember boys are not girls.
"Rox..." he says in his familiar point-making-with-a-pause voice, "He's a boy... let him do boy things, already. What? You expect him to always want to go shopping with you? Take nature walks? This is a strong boy, Rox... he wants to use some force, some strength... Take him out to hit baseballs..."
"Dad. I do..."
"Take him out to hit baseballs...he doesn't want to go to Target or go have coffee...He spends too much time with adults having coffee..."
"Dad, I know. I wish you were here to take him to do some of these things. You guys would be such great friends. He's a lot like you. You should see him run..."
"I see him... I see him... He's my grandson for Christ Sakes."
"Well, don't you think he takes after you?"
"Alright, that's enough now. I'm off to the ocean. Just remember about the baseballs... By the way, Rox... I met your friend Grandma Rose. She's... I like her, Rox... she's... she's an artist, you know? Artist..."
"That's great dad. I knew you two would hit it off."
The point is...Over the years I like to re-read the memoir that I wrote during early 00's getting my MFA at the U called "I Love Lucy and She Loves Me Too" about growing up latchkey in seventies LA. The more distance I get from it, the more it reads like a novel and I find my empathy for younger me to be enormous: Wow! Who is this angry young person? Why is she so hard on herself? Yikes, I don't think that's a very wise decision... Man, if only she could take a yoga class... Sometimes I forget it is actually me I am reading about and I find myself wondering what the heck is going to happen next!
After nearly ten years, I'm slowly making my way back toward the memoir with the story that needs to be written. I had to do some living first, some revising and re-visioning of my personal life—build up the story a bit, own my part, do my healing, etc—so that I'd actually have something more than a funny rant about Ma and LA, the two central characters. Not only have I changed the title to "Here's Fifty Cents and You Two F*ckers Can Take the Bus Home!" but I have also dug in there with my Voice of Experience to heal the younger me who wrote the first draft. Could I have published it then? Sure, probably...but I just knew it wasn't ready or right. Will I publish it eventually? Sure... and there's no hurry. The story stands strong and I sure look forward to being able to spend some time with it... and I suspect I will feel that way about writing (and my life) for a very long time, which perhaps is how (and why) it ends happily ever after.
WHAT IS YOUR HAPPILY EVER AFTER STORY? WHAT PART OF YOUR MEMOIR/LIFE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO BACK AND VISIT AND SPEAK TO IN YOUR VOICE OF EXPERIENCE? WHO DO YOU WANT TO MEET ON THE PAGE?
WRITING WITH ROX WEEKLY (Good) News
Want to see something really funny? It has nothing to do with anything but boy, is is funny! http://jjcoconutpark.blogspot.com/2013/10/cow-eats-my-phone.html
Speaking of dreams...I'm beginning to dream again about the Little Book of Beach, a long-time-in-the-making anthology of the amazing raw/intuitive writing that has been written here at the Beach, hopefully the first of many...
WRITING WITH ROX WEEKLY (Happy) Announcements
Great news! I have immediate openings in my Friday Morning Women's Writing Group as well as my monthly Tuesday evening Healing Group! Email me rox@writingwithrox.com if you want to join in on the coolness!
Attention writers! My amazing friend Lindsay is doing some really cool amazing work over at Courageous Hearts and is looking for a few helpers with heart! Here's what she has to say!
We're looking for someone to serve as a Creative Guide for this class on either Wed or Thurs evenings. The class will be from 4:30-6p and Guides are asked to add 30 min on either end for prep and clean up. 2nd quarter runs for 9 weeks from Nov. 4-Jan. 17 (2 weeks off for winter break).
I need an intern! Free classes/retreats/etc, great experience!
rox@writingwithrox.com
Want to write but not ready to come to a class?
You can take any of my classes online! Inquire within!rox@writingwithrox.com
Got news to share? Let me know! I'll post it here!
♥♥UPCOMING ♥♥♥ ♥ ♥
New! Fourth Annual Fall Women's Writing Retreat On the lake in Spicer, MN!
Friday October 25-27, 2013
Wild Woman Solstice Retreat Returning soon! Stay tuned for details!
Friday October 25-27, 2013
Noon Friday-1 pm Sunday Call for details!
WRITING WITH ROX WEEKLY Woo-Woo Writing Wisdom...
Always keep in mind that change is possible and more importantly, expected in a memoir (just like in a novel or movie!) We as readers hunger to see the "main character" change on the page so as to inspire our own change, etc! So...as needed or wanted.... change on the page/change in life! Write a great memoir! Live a great life!♥
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So poignant, the communication from your dad about Jude... and a good example of how to use writing to channel this sorta thing...
ReplyDeletelove, CuteFaceNoah
awwww, thanks so much Grarree CuteFace... I love bringing my dad back on the page...(when I'm not speaking him/impersonating him, which tends to be funnier, whereas writing tends to be more heartfelt/emotional). Thanks so much for posting. By the way, did I tell you that Ma asked if you were "Too Cute Face?" and I said "who else?" adding, "yes, he's just too cute for his own good..." "Oh, that's cute," she said. All of this after her rant of course.... :) Love, lzg
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