Writing with Rox WEEKLY—What's your Thing?

Last year Paula was visiting from Austin and one night we got into dueling You Tubes, taking turns showing each other our favorite ways to waste time. "You gotta see this," she said, after I showed her numerous clips of my son dancing to The Final Countdown.

"Not that guy again," I said as that familiar tortured, self-loathing figure came up on the screen, this time talking to Conan O' Brien.  A few years prior she'd shown me a clip of the same tortured, self-loathing face in the middle of a stand-up routine pantomiming about how unfair it is that his wife is less than thrilled to be doing her part when it comes to their sex life. Sure, it was funny—lmaorotfl funny—but nothing I had much interest in, especially as a former wannabe aspiring actress/improv star when I was growing up in LA. Back then being a Hollywood star was my thing. Back then, irony was my thing.

That life hadn't been my thing for a long time.

But life is funny. Sometimes our thing comes full circle. 

"I love this guy!" I told Paula throughout the Conan clip. "He is saying what I say! He's talking about my thing!" My thing at the time being the evil of cell phones and other high-tech distractions that take us out of the intimacy of the moment. "I love him! Since when is he so smart?" 

"See? I told you," says my very wise friend, who went through the same thing with me in 1993 with yoga. At the time, I told her that yoga would never ever be my thing. Ten years later, with a bit of hang-dog in my Down Dog,  I told her yoga saved my life and I owed it all to her. I'm sure I won't be saying the same thing about Louis CK, but all the same, she likes being right.

"He's the best," she says, satisfied with her thing yet again becoming my thing.

So yes, for now, Louis CK is my current thing. He's the thing I ask everyone else about:  Have you heard of him? Is he also your thing?  Of course I realize I am ten plus years late catching on to this thing, but still. He's amazing! Don't you think so?  Last year I was this way about a movie called Melancholia; I wanted to talk about it with everyone and then some.  And of course I  have other things, things that have been things for a long time: yoga, intuitive writing, drumming, 80s dancing, along with newer thing like qui gong and ukulele—becoming a bigger thing—and of course all the other things. 

Why is knowing your thing on the page important? What are the themes of your thing? 

Knowing the details of yourself and your thing is part of the passionate energy that will flow your writing. You can talk about it forever; writing is like talking on the page. And lingering in it, writing about it, grows the passion.

What is your thing and how does it turn into a writing prompt? Well... most of our "things" have some sort of story attached: a first time, a moment of growth, a reason/purpose, a person who led you to it, etc, which can fuel many stories, memories, and inform us about themes in our writing and in our lives. Does this thing relate to the last thing? What about the things we no longer thing about?

Here are some other things that have been my thing: soccer, lounge music, swing dance, cigars, saddle shoes, bread machines, crochet, The Current, improv, movies, Thievery Corporation, thrift shopping, David Sedaris... 

What is your thing?

Writing with Rox WEEKLY—Because/I've been away so long

Why I've Been Away So Long

because taxes
because taxes are done
And new glasses that I had to return because they didn't fit and I need bifocals and I can't deny any longer that I can't see close
Loft class ending; Loft class over
What exactly is it I am doing with my life again? 

Because I made a deal with my therapist that I would schedule out each and everyday for a week and see if I could stick to it
I didn't—I haven't had time to schedule it in my schedule
Because I still have to give up sugar for a week while my bff in Texas has to give up TV
Because I have a memory of cross country skiing last winter with my very sweet laughing friend Jess and we ran into a friend of hers who she hadn't seen in ten years whose husband then came skiing around the hill and we got to talking and he said, "well, at least I get to pick which 80 hours per week I want to work."

Because everything and because nothing
I forgot or I remembered too late
If I fail to text myself an email I'll end up all alone and forgotten
Because: summer camp, the Delles, my out of tune ukulele, yoga, Ma
Because Jude and I falling down laughing when we have to finish our math homework
Because just one more Louis CK on You Tube
Just one more kirtan, one more song, one more page...
one more minute of rest
because tick tick tick tick tick tick
Searching for more time to do everything and

Because yesterday, a glorious fall like spring evening, Passover picnicing with our friends in Northeast outside of Circus School—watching the lightrail, seeing the umbrella sky, matzo-krispie treats—a poem in the making because we agree to let ourselves see the everyday urban thorough the perfect light of a giant pinwheel
Because I tell him I have no idea what I have been up to this winter, no memory at all and he says back,  wise like a rabbi, blonde and fair like a brother,  "it's all just made of small things and moments like this, like hanging out with my good friend Rox in April by the lightrail outside of Circus" and
I am so moved I want to fall to his feet

Because loveland

Because we can't come back to where we were and where we've been
though sometimes we have to in order to come back to exactly, really, where we are
which is why we've been away so long


Sto, eta? So, what is this? Simply a raw intuitive "list poem" titled Why I've Been Away So Long, prompted by one of my beloved loyal readers who finally asked me, what gives? Where the hey are ya?

So what about you? Why have you been away so long? From me? From you? From...? Have fun with the flow of the list poem: random thoughts, words, associations that come to life with any given title... write and write until something catches... you'll be writing for days!

And... if you'd like, check out my upcoming SUMMER classes and retreats! Thanks for reading and hope to write with you soon!

Writing with Rox WEEKLY—Highlight of the Day Journal

Jude and I are having a fantastic spring break. I can't remember a spring break where I've had more fun. As far as childhood goes, all I can remember is a haze of spring breaks spent in Palm Springs, which was lovely, but so was Los Angeles. One student joked the other day that I never had to go away for spring break because I was already there! True that.

Of course those were wonderful times and deep memories of a "happy childhood" were made there: the desert was glorious, the bingo with Great Grandma Jean and her mountainside trailer beneath the lemon tree, scurrying up "my" mountain, the oasis that was the small oval pool with plastic yellow and white lounge chairs, miniature golf with Grandpa Norman, visiting the giant dinosaurs, marveling at Bob Hope's house, the Hollywood glamour of downtown before it got all touristy, the romantic nights I envisioned for myself there when I grew.

Truth is,  I wish Ma would have indulged a little spring break action with me when I was a kid. She was around, but I think she was too stressed out to get into it. She wasn't one for fun... kid fun anyway.

Inasmuch, until today, I never realized that spring break was actually a time for parents to take a break and have some fun with their kids. To take some days off, get down on the ground, eat the junk food, build the Lego towers, and have some kid fun.  Ooooooooooooooooooooooh. This likely explains why so many folks I know are out of town with their kids having fun somewhere fun.    Glad I caught on.

I won't go into all the fun, but it began Friday night with some rounds of silliness after too much chocolate cake making and eating, topped off at bedtime by the following joke that came out of one of Jude's scholastic books:
KNOCK KNOCK?
WHO'S THERE?
OSWALD
OSWALD WHO?
OSWALD MY CHEWING GUM

Okay, you don't have to tell me whether or not you think that's funny (but DO feel free to share your Knock-Knock jokes) because the point is that was the moment that unleashed it all and it's been mostly a party ever since.

One of the great things that has come out of this spring break week is that Jude and I have been doing our "Highlight of the Day" Journal together. His class was recently assigned this nighty homework and we have made it a ritual to do it together. What a gift. Just as in the spirit of things here at the Beach, we write together and then we read out loud to each other. And it's beautiful! Worlds collide! Sometimes we write about the same things, but a lot of times we get to hear new things, remember places or moments, relive a certain magic, go somewhere new...

Of course my highlight always has Jude in it. But that's my truth and that's writing it down. (I realize he may write a memoir someday. He may regret that his mom had too much fun for spring break and couldn't she act her own age, for crying out loud?) Either way, today we both wrote about how fun it was to have fancy donuts on Eat Street.


Spring Break story? (college spring break stories?!)
Highlight of the Day?

Moral of the story: Writing together is fun! Writing together is a great break! And if you need one—with your child, your honey, your fun-less (or too fun!) mother, your best friend—join me for DATE NIGHT WRITING ON THURSDAY MAY 1!