Writing with Rox WEEKLY—Because/I've been away so long

Why I've Been Away So Long

because taxes
because taxes are done
And new glasses that I had to return because they didn't fit and I need bifocals and I can't deny any longer that I can't see close
Loft class ending; Loft class over
What exactly is it I am doing with my life again? 

Because I made a deal with my therapist that I would schedule out each and everyday for a week and see if I could stick to it
I didn't—I haven't had time to schedule it in my schedule
Because I still have to give up sugar for a week while my bff in Texas has to give up TV
Because I have a memory of cross country skiing last winter with my very sweet laughing friend Jess and we ran into a friend of hers who she hadn't seen in ten years whose husband then came skiing around the hill and we got to talking and he said, "well, at least I get to pick which 80 hours per week I want to work."

Because everything and because nothing
I forgot or I remembered too late
If I fail to text myself an email I'll end up all alone and forgotten
Because: summer camp, the Delles, my out of tune ukulele, yoga, Ma
Because Jude and I falling down laughing when we have to finish our math homework
Because just one more Louis CK on You Tube
Just one more kirtan, one more song, one more page...
one more minute of rest
because tick tick tick tick tick tick
Searching for more time to do everything and

Because yesterday, a glorious fall like spring evening, Passover picnicing with our friends in Northeast outside of Circus School—watching the lightrail, seeing the umbrella sky, matzo-krispie treats—a poem in the making because we agree to let ourselves see the everyday urban thorough the perfect light of a giant pinwheel
Because I tell him I have no idea what I have been up to this winter, no memory at all and he says back,  wise like a rabbi, blonde and fair like a brother,  "it's all just made of small things and moments like this, like hanging out with my good friend Rox in April by the lightrail outside of Circus" and
I am so moved I want to fall to his feet

Because loveland

Because we can't come back to where we were and where we've been
though sometimes we have to in order to come back to exactly, really, where we are
which is why we've been away so long


Sto, eta? So, what is this? Simply a raw intuitive "list poem" titled Why I've Been Away So Long, prompted by one of my beloved loyal readers who finally asked me, what gives? Where the hey are ya?

So what about you? Why have you been away so long? From me? From you? From...? Have fun with the flow of the list poem: random thoughts, words, associations that come to life with any given title... write and write until something catches... you'll be writing for days!

And... if you'd like, check out my upcoming SUMMER classes and retreats! Thanks for reading and hope to write with you soon!