When I first moved here in 2001, I had a handful of bylines to my name, but no idea where I was heading as a writer. I could have never predicted where I am today and if I saw it coming I would have been really confused. At the time, I was hoping to write a bestselling memoir or collection of essays (what we now call Creative Nonfiction and/or Personal Essay) based on my "dysfunctional" (I actually touted "dysfunctional" as though it would be a selling point) upbringing in Los Angeles. All of this, before yoga.
Of course I can't attribute everything to yoga. First of all, there's the University of Minnesota for accepting me into the MFA program in the first place. Somehow they saw past the "dysfunction" and admitted me into their program in 2001. To this day (and still), I am ever grateful to the Minnesota literary (and illiterary) communities and folks who welcomed me so openly (if not somewhat Minnesotanly) into the books and pages of their lives.
Today one of my students asked me why I don't do much freelancing anymore. Ooooooh, long story, I may have said. The short answer? Oooooh, I used to be a freelancing whore. Well now, let's not go...
True, once upon a time while I went through the MFA program at the U, in addition to writing columns for the Minnesota Daily, I was very fortunate to connect with some local publications and eventually began writing for most of them, namely writing monthly columns for Minneapolis St Paul Magazine, with the occasional interview or feature. To those publications I am also very grateful! They put up with me. And I mean that.
But I was a freelance addict, meaning I took and went after every gig I could get my young big-headed opinion over. Long before I was a legal resident, I learned there are advantages to not being a native Minnesotan when it comes to going after things one wants. For the first and last time, Minnesota Nice worked in my favor. (I suffered aplenty at its cause, you can trust me on that!)
Still, I was cocky, I was young, I was a hoarder, I was afraid of not being important or loved, etc... I look back on some of the things they printed and I go... Oooooh, shit. Really? Really? But then I remember me back then and try to have compassion.
Try. I said I try.
Although I've veered from freelancing, one of the greatest things about it was I got to share my values, beliefs, and quirky passions with mainstream culture. Despite my cluelessness and want for fame and fortune, I wrote from a place of love. My monthly Top Tens column featured ten, "best" anythings based on any given topic of my choosing: Best places to make out while riding your bike, best pick up games, "inappropriate" public art, unsung heroes, cover bands, candy in bulk, folks who defy Minnesota Nice...
I'm trying. I'm trying.
I don't miss the deadlines and line checks, the word count, the irony, and all the stuff that goes with regular freelance work, but occasionally I get nostalgic for sharing the things out there I think are really cool. Granted I don't get "out there" nearly as much as I used to, nor am I as savvy to the old hipster ways (thankfully, gratefully), but I don't know if that would change anything anyway. In any case, here are the things and people that make my life wonderful and I cannot live without: (And you have likely heard me talk about all of these things regularly, but now I am going on being cocky again and overtooting my welcome, so just bare with me)...
First of all, you, students, readers, friends, like-hearted and minded kindred soul mates who come and make The Beach such a sacred place. Thank you. Thank you so much. Happy New Year. What a blessing that my life happens to be happening and weaving at the same exact moment as yours, that we found each other. It's a miracle and I am grateful. Terry Tempest Williams has an awesome line in her piece "Why I Write" about how writing is like "whispering into the ear of someone you love..." As I write this, my wish is for all my writing family, each of you, to hear these words whispered into your ear, as yours and yours alone... You'll try?
The "strangers" out there I will come to know and share and write with and love when the time is right
Studio Inside Out is brilliant! Oh to live in the colors! Meet your brilliant on the canvas! Guided by pure love...
BareBones Halloween Show is something you hear me talk about all the time
MayDay Parade ditto
Amy Pate—My one and only yoga teacher, a true light...at One Yoga Studio.
Wild Moon Bhaktas and Kirtan Path if you ever want to chant and be happy.
Yogananda Center
Common Ground
Dharma Field
One Yoga
Invisible Bee Yoga
All places and beings teaching and being peace
Milissa Link
Lovingkindness
The Sun Magazine
The New Yorker
Viva Mexico who get me there every year
ARC on Penn for having clothes every Sunday for $1 and thereby keeping me and my son warm and overdressed year round.
Latest find on You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLERRYp8Oao
Favorite Parrot Totally random, but god, I love her. You have to watch the whole thing.
Jessica O who is one of my bff's, the original mother earth who teaches me how and why to love the planet and it's children and who is taking her 7 year old son to meet his dad for the first time in Japan this spring
Hot Chocolate at Caribou after x-country skiing at Hyland Park... that there is a two-for-one
Best Drum Circle
The man who taught me to drum and so much more
Omulu Capoeira is where Jude occasionally gets his kicks. One of these days, I'll join him!
Curran's so odd it's not even a dive, but I am in earnest ever grateful to them for providing weekly dinners of pancakes and chocolate chip cookies to my son and his dad
Cary Tenis I still cannot say enough things about this amazing writer, human, and being of peace.
That's not the end. Just where I am having to stop for now.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
WRITE WITH ME? WHAT CAN YOU ADD TO THIS LIST? PEOPLE? PLACES? EDIBLES? SPIRITUALS? ALL IN ONE?
AND IF YOU'D RATHER:
"NEW YEAR'S EVE"... ANYTHING ON THAT. ANYTHING.
Thank you for all the inspiration you give!! Happy New Year!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd to you, Caryn! Look forward to writing together soon! Rox
DeleteHmmmm.....good food for thought. What are the things and people in my life that make it all worthwhile?
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about gratitude today. Even before I read your blog. I've also been thinking about the New Year and things I want to add to my "to do" list. As always it is overly ambitious. I set myself up for failure every time. "This year I'm going to......" Then December 31st it's "shit, I didn't get that done." But as you said....I try. And I keep trying. Keep thinking this will be the year for that.... I will write more. I will take a yoga class. I will organize 15 years of photographs (that was on the "said I was gonna but didn't get it done" list for 2014). I will meditate daily. I will go through boxes and get rid of stuff I am hanging onto but don't really use or need anymore. I will organize family memorabilia so if something happens to me my family will know what's what. I will write a will for the same reason. I will join a diabetes support group. I will grieve the loss of my sister. I will be nicer to my husband. I will write more letters to my daughters. I will save more money. I will take more time off from work. And of course the old standbys...exercise more, eat healthier. See what I mean? I can't possibly accomplish all of that in one year! But I want to. And I guess that is evidence that I'm still here. Still engaged in life. Still interested. I haven't checked out, given up.
What are the things/people I am grateful for that make life more enjoyable? Walks outside in nature. Paddling the canoe with my husband. Gliding through silent forests on cross-country skis. Trips up north along the north shore. The new community of writers I've found in Rox's writing group. Beautiful, loving people, many of whom I didn't know were my friends until they showed me their care and concern when my dear sister died unexpectedly of a brain infection this fall. For instance, coming home from spending Christmas with our daughters in Oregon, I found two beautiful ice luminaries with candles in them, on our front doorstep with a lovely note wishing me light in the midst of the darkness of my grief. This gift from a high school friend who I really haven't seen or talked to much in our post-high school years. So many loving gestures in the midst of my grief have been the highlights of the past year. They have all made me want to do better, be better. Give more. Pay it forward. And that's really what I want to accomplish in this new year. I want to walk a path with my heart leading the way. I love this quote from the book I just finished reading, "A Path With Heart," by Jack Kornfield.
"What a splendid way to move through the world, to bring our blessings to all that we touch. To honor, to bless, to welcome with the heart is never done in grand or monumental ways but in this moment, in the most immediate and intimate way." Or another favorite of mine by Mother Theresa..."We can do no great things. Only small things with great love" (or something like that....)
If I can accomplish that in 2015 the rest on my "to do" list can certainly wait for another year!
Here here, Gayle! Raising a cup of lovingkindness to you! Love these tender musings, Gayle. Thanks so much for sharing. Always good to get a reminder of what really matters, deeper than the distractions of new years resolutions... Jack is a great teacher, as are you. Keep writing, sharing, breathing, living in love... Rox
Delete